Ajit Pai Unleashes ISP Guardians Upon Internet To Enforce Mantle of Corporate Cuckery

While giving Rusty Trombones to the CEOs and shareholders of his telecom company overlords, Ajit Pai voted to repeal Obama-era “Domain-Neutrality” regulations that ensured equal access to the Domain for all members of the galaxy. Then, after licking the smeared shit off his lips, Pai handed over control of the Forerunner Guardians from to the telecom companies’ Comcast, Verizon, AT&T, and Time Warner. Now called ISP Guardians, these corporate machines have the freedom to wipe out the power grids of any inhabited worlds that might harbor startup companies, negative reviews of their services, or credible reports of white, male CEOs sexually assaulting female employees.

Now, this sucks, but there’s actually something you all in the United States can do about it beyond complaining on websites you soon may have to pay extra for. That’s right, you can call your representatives and tell them to back a bill that reinstates net neutrality regulations regardless of which political party controls the FCC. Tell them that you will vote their asses out of office if they don’t pass legislation that declares the Internet to be a public utility.

And preferably do it before Comcast customer support takes six hours on the phone to tell you that your router should be replaced and charges you for the call (because information on how to do it yourself just wouldn’t load when you looked it up).


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