Sean Spicer, despite having recently apologized for his errornous comparisons between Assad and Hitler, has once again haplessly blurted nonsense at a White House press briefing. Yesterday evening, Spicer asserted the following to the bewildered reporters:
“Even Hitler didn’t sink to using galaxy-destroying superweapon Halos like the Forerunners have.”
“Even Hitler didn’t sink to driving the player off a cliff like how Kat-B320 did.”
“Even Hitler didn’t sink to using superheated plasma to eradicate heretical races like the Covenant have.”
“Even Hitler didn’t sink to abducting children from their families and replacing them with flash clones THAT DIED while the actual children underwent military training and physical augmentation (which gruesomely killed half of them!) to become hardened supersoldiers like Doctor Halsey did.”
“Even Hitler didn’t sink to coming back from the dead, killing millions of humans and aliens to awaken Forerunner policing machines, and then locking his closest friend in a Cryptum like how Cortana did.”
In response to the immediate outrage, President Trump defended Spicer on Twitter, stating that “Spicer is treated so unfairly by the #FAKENEWS Media! Why can’t he be allowed to restrict freedom of press? Sad!”
Likewise, Kellyanne Conway told interviewers that Spicer was simply offering “alternative history” to the public.