Having trouble winning matches in Halo Wars 2? Rest assured, HaloSwallower has you covered with 15 tactics that are clinically-proven to increase effectiveness.
1. Repeatedly press RB until the announcer’s voice saying “All units” over and over again inspires you to think of a decent strategy.
2. Spam Suicide Grunts.
3. Recycle your HQ as soon as the match starts. The enemy can’t defeat you if there’s no base for them to destroy!
4. Avoid researching costly upgrades or training power-intensive units. Instead, let your energy build up to 20,000 so that you still have something to brag about by the time you’ve lost the match.
5. Don’t let failure keep you from trying the same strategies over and over again. Eventually, if you throw enough shit at the wall, it will stick!
6. Scouting out enemy bases to assess their defensive capabilities and trained units prior to attacking is a waste of your effort and tears. Always rush attacks blind.
7. Also related to scouting, remember to fantasize about the voice actor for the Jackrabbit and how you’d plow your Enduring Conviction into her slipspace vortex.
8. Instead of launching futile attacks on your enemy, build up impervious defenses and wait for your enemy to lag out.
9. Take advantage of garrisons, but only fill them with Jump-Pack Brutes.
10. Message your opponent and tell them they’re a bad player.
11. Always attack using one type of unit. Having variety in your armies will only confuse you and force you to spend excessive time scrolling through them.
12. Threaten to ban them if they don’t play the way you want them to play. Remember, your dad is Bill Gates, so use that to your advantage!
13. Offer them a substantial amount of money and/or REQ packs and/or Blitz packs if they quit. They will inevitably succumb to their materialistic desires and give you an easy victory!
14. Refuse to quit out to the menu even after you have lost. You have only lost if you admit it, and you know you are no quitter!
15. Play Starcraft 2. This item is sponsored by Blizzard.