Although less common than the traditional symmetrical Capture the Flag gametype, One-Flag CTF surely has a steady base of players who enjoy it. However, many of these players likely are oblivious to an unprecedented reality: dogs are pretty good at it too. Because of that unfortunate lack of awareness, HaloSwallower has compiled a list of 15 dog breeds that could probably knock your sorry human ass to ground in a match of One-Flag CTF.
1. Doberman Pinscher
Strong defensive instincts paired with jaws long enough to provide an extremely powerful bite? You’re not getting anywhere close to that flag.
2. Cardigan Welsh Corgi
Corgis might be bred for nipping the heels of livestock, but they’ll sure as hell be nipping the heels of you and your teammates to herd away your chances of victory.
With legs like those, that dog will be in and out of your base stealing your flag before you can even switch your weapon.
4. English Springer Spaniel
Okay, let’s be real. A softmouthed Springer is going to scatter your teammates away from the flag just like they scatter Pheasants out into the hunter’s line of sight.
5. Minature Schnauzer
Judging by that brooding, imposing face, do you really stand a chance?
6. Belgian Sheepdog
I got nothing to say.
7. Minature Dachshund
On the field, Doxies use their stubby little legs bury into badger holes. In One-Flag CTF, those stubby little legs will go right into your camping spot and assassinate you.
8. Lakeland Terrier
Terrier? More like tear your ass apart.
You already have enough trouble stopping a flag-carrier riding in a Warthog. There’s no way you’re going to get your flag back if it’s in the talons of a Cockatoo.
10. German Shepard Dog
Did I Am Legend not make it clear that German Shepard’s are among the best canine companions out there? You’re going to lose on insane proportions if the enemy team has a German Shepard in their ranks. NOTE: this does not apply in Infection gametypes.
11. Chesapeake Bay Retriever
Chessies might not be able to retrieve the woefully abundant pollution from the Chesapeake Bay, but they’ll retrieve your flag and bring it right to their base.
12. Shiba Inu
You’re not winning against a meme. Just give up.
The Muskellunge is northern North America’s top freshwater predator. You are naught but small fry to that fish. Know your place.
14. Siberian Husky
Huskies pull sleds across the snowy tundras. And they’ll pull their team to colossal victory.
15. Chow Chow
The only thing you’ll be ‘chowing’ on is the bitter taste of defeat.