Research Suggests Splinter Grenades Made with Samsung Galaxy Note 7s

img_7632Reverse-engineering the technology of a hundred thousand year-old civilization is no easy task, even the mighty Covenant could only scratch the surface of the technology they based their fervent religion upon. However, against all odds, top human and Sangheili scientists at Onyx have determined that Forerunner Splinter Grenades are manufactured from Samsung Galaxy Note 7s. As it turned out, rather than being a compound of hardlight and metal, Splinter Grenades are actually composed from Note 7s being compressed into slipspace vortexes. When the grenade is primed, the Note 7 is released from its slipspace vortex and detonates upon striking a surface.

“It’s an incredible discovery,” Doctor Hugh Mungus, Chief scientist among the UNSC-Swords of Sanghelios joint-research team at Onyx, explained. “Who knows what else might be lurking in the backbones of Forerunner tech? Hover boards? Fierros?”

The researching process was laborious. A Sangheili scientist informed HaloSwallower that hundreds of trials were performed on Splinter Grenades to determine their mechanical process, and it was only until they received a product recall notice from Samsung did they realize the grenade’s true function.

Just to see what might happen, the researchers at Onyx returned their product to Samsung to receive a non-exploding replacement. They received a Pulse Grenade instead.

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