In an unprecedented move, Warden Eternal has taken to BuzzCast to announce he has “a sleugh of incriminating evidence that could lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton” stored in the Domain.
Specifically, Mr. Eternal listed the following damning accusations:
- Hillary Clinton was involved with the horrific kidnapping of Elvis by Bigfoot.
- Hillary Clinton wears long sleeves under short sleeves over long sleeves.
- Hillary Clinton doesn’t have tiny hands with an even tinier dick.
- Hillary Clinton is Hillary Clinton.
- Hillary Clinton focuses on comprehensive policy in speeches rather than the proper act of plucking the fragile heartstrings of emotional voters with little regard for actual plans.
- Hillary Clinton went back in time to murder Sarah Connor so that Arnold Schwarzenegger could use the power of the Voice to create George Bush so Bush could do 9/11.
- Hillary Clinton isn’t not Hillary Clinton.
- Hillary Clinton is too “politically correct” to promote violence in rallies.
- Hillary Clinton trusts the overwhelming and increasingly certain consensus among scientists regarding climate change.
- Hillary Clinton intends to bring an end to sexual assault on college campuses and the serious problem it imposes, rather than defending the right of overprivileged white male athletes to not be held accountable for ruining the lives and emotional stability of women they rape.
- Hillary Clinton didn’t go back in time to actually make herself responsible for the outcome of the Benghazi attacks, which was very unfair to Republicans who desperately needed plausible evidence to indite her.
- Hillary Clinton would be the first female president, which could lead America into a dreadful future in which white men are forced to suffer the presence of female doctors, female lawyers, female pilots, and female women.
Warden Eternal then proceeded to laugh his fucking ass off people who feel they can’t trust Hillary Clinton, yet are perfectly okay with voting for Donald Trump.