The Pros and Cons of Halo 3: Anniversary

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E3 2016 is just around the corner. Halo Wars 2 is confirmed to be playable at the event, but 343 has strongly hinted for us to expect an all-new announcement too. Some have speculated this all-new announcement to be a remake of Halo 3 for its 10th year anniversary, thus continuing the trend established by Halo: AnniversaryHalo 2: Anniversary, and the inevitable Halo: Anniversary: Anniversary. As such, HaloSwallower has compiled a list of pros and cons regarding the potential existence of Halo 3: Anniversary.

Pros of Halo 3: Anniversary

  • Would allow fans to once again drown in their incessant nostalgia for a few weeks until the next Call of Duty comes out.
  • We’d get to see Miranda Keyes go FULL YOLO into a citadel full of Brutes and die like an absolute idiot, in gorgeous cutscenes animated by Blur Studios.
  • Will probably not be fucked-over by being part of a Master Chief Collection.
  • We’d have a new reason to use the Halo Channel, and would once again be blessed with listening to its breathtaking menu music playing over terminals as try to watch them.
  • The Assault Rifle won’t sound like crickets anymore.

Cons of Halo 3: Anniversary

  • Multiplayer might not include all 23 maps, disappointing millions of fans and their dogs.
  • 343 might try to fuck up Halo 3‘s most acclaimed features, such as the iconic laggy netcode, and the hallmark “Cortana moments” that forced you out of gameplay.
  • Might be used to falsely advertise the story of Halo 6.
  • Tom Salta might marginally change the divine score composed by His Grace Martin O’Donnell, causing God Almighty to strike down mankind in a sea of holy fire
  • In a universe full of such rich storytelling, do we really need to churn resources in catering to nostalgia when there is so much to be explored?
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