The dedicated servers responsible for running 90% of the functionality of Halo 5: Guardians have been experiencing a major outage today, April 9, 2016. At the time of writing this article, the servers remain inoperable. Lobbies can still be accessed, but players looking for matchmaking will find themselves waiting idly in the search screen and ultimately kicked out with an assortment of different error messages. It was not long until 343 Industries was made aware of the outage, and it has been blamed on one, single perpetrator:
Notorious for mysterious damage inflicted upon aircrafts during flight, Gremlins are as elusive as they are terrifying. During World War II, Gremlins indiscriminately sabotaged British and German aircrafts alike during the brutal dogfights defining the skies of the war. Every advance in aviation felt the slicing and scratching of their claws, as they cut wires on biplanes and tore landing gear from commercial jets looming towards the runway. Naysayers claim that Gremlins are merely a product of altitude-induced hallucinations, but those people do not actually believe that and are just being paid (or threatened with death) to say that by U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Although it remains unknown why, just why, Gremlins are attacking Halo 5‘s dedicated servers rather than unsuspecting Malaysia Airlines flights, the team at 343 Industries remains committed to removing ALL Gremlins from the premises and getting the servers back online.