Press reports have confirmed that Warden Eternal, keeper of the Domain, has found himself considering visiting the doctor over a large, blue growth he began noticing between his shoulder blades on all of his physical forms.
“At first I presumed this apparition was simply a mole under the calling of regularity,” Warden told reporters. “But then it preceded to expand beyond my lensure, and every time someone f*cking asshole shoots at it it hurts like an actual, legitimate bitch.”
“One time, I was stuck in yet another Warzone game, and some Spartan operating under the blemish of impunity jumped onto my back and jabbed a blade of primitive aura into the growth. The pain was so great that my form present at the scene dissolved.”
“Perhaps I am struck with delusional paranoia, but this growth has seen me fearing the allure of consequence. Might it so be that the impeding maw of death approaches? Who will maintain guardianship over the Domain in my absence?”
The press has also reported that Cortana jokingly suggested Warden Eternal to begin calling himself ‘Warden Temporary.’ 343 Industries is even having Jennifer Hale, voice-actor for Sarah Palmer, rerecord her Warzone dialogue to say ‘Warden Tempoary’ rather than Warden Eternal. This change is hinted to be included in the upcoming Ghosts of Meridian update (releases early April 2045).
“Curse these forms,” Warden said to the reporters before blasting them to atoms with a single smash of his hardlight sword.