Small turf wars have recently erupted in the streets of Kirkland, Washington after suspected terrorists suggested that the Halo series and Call of Duty series have similarities. The fighting is taking place outside of Gamestops and suburban neighborhoods, where teenage and college students alike are setting up camps with their respective sides, and occasionally peeking their heads out to throw rocks at the other with foul language written on them.
The first recorded incident occurred when one high schooler invited another to his house to play some co-op splitscreen. Upon finding that Halo 5 was undergoing an 80 gig update that adds over 100 new weapon skins based on food, the other suggested that they play Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 instead since “It’s basically just like Halo right?”
After then being told to leave and never come back, the student took to Reddit to voice his opinions. The subreddit titled “Halo/Call of Duty Similarities” quickly one of the top 10 triggering subreddits on the site. It included such allegations as claiming that both have story driven campaigns, survival modes in Spec Ops and Firefight, and even undead-like enemies in the Flood and Call of Duty’s Zombies mode. “Plus, both of them have sort of borrowed and play off each other with gameplay mechanics” said the hapless student. “I’d even say that both thrive off the competition.”
Hours later, the fighting began in the hometown of 343 industries, as small camps were setup to represent both sides in response to the “inflamatory messages posted on Reddit” We managed to secure interviews with two battle hardened IGN game reviewers in the Halo camp.
“The idea that we have anything in common, with those…noobs is ridiculous for one reason.” said Imma Tewl, who gave Halo 5 a 10 out of 10. “Their series has never changed. They just pump out the same boring gameplay year after year with no deviation. We? We evolve.”
“Yeah, I’m on this side, even though 343 is just as bad as those Call of Duty spawn campers.” said a reviewer going by his online name xxx_Dark_Assassin69_xxx, who gave Halo 5 a 0 out of 10. “343 just completely ruined Bungie’s prefect lineage by trying to change things! You can’t just change and add new stuff and think it’s…good!”
The fighting eventually subsided after the initial two friends were seen playing Call of Duty together, after the first admitted the game wasn’t the most important thing after all.