THEORY: Did the Prophets Join the Illuminati After Halo 3?


Ever since the end of the original Halo trilogy, the enigmatic political leaders of the Covenant have vanished. The only three Prophets seen in game were killed by being punched in the face, strangled by a two foot tall crawling light bulb, and getting stabbed in the stomach with dramatic one liners. So what happened to the rest of them?

While the rest of the Covenant and the UNSC were busy scrambling around the Forerunner plant Requiem, the Office of Naval Intelligence was exhaustively searching for the truth of the San ‘Shyuum. After spending years and literally trillions of dollars on top dollar research and wild MOA chases, ONI has released their findings.

“We didn’t use the most…conventional methods when conducting this search,” said ONI professor Evan Phillips. “But our evidence holds up!”

The following is the information as told to us at Halo Swallower by ONI. Whether the facts and logic are entirely correct is, as the Elites say, “A fool’s gambit.”

The Prophets led the Covenant. The Covenant worshiped the Forerunners. The Forerunners built the Halo’s. There were seven Halo’s. The Chief blew up the fourth Halo. Seven minus four is three. There were three members of Noble Team left during the last campaign mission of Reach. The last mission of Halo 5 has five different types of vehicles. Vehicles are constructed on human and Covenant worlds. Humans and Covenant both fought Prometheans. Prometheans were made to fight the Flood. The Flood have been to Earth, specifically Africa. Egypt is in Africa. Egypt houses the great Pyramids, which are shaped like triangles. So in conclusion, the Prophets went to…



Join the Illuminati. Case closed.





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