I sexually Identify as a Z-1800 Phaeton. Ever since I was a boy, I dreamed of soaring over Raid On Apex 7 dropping directed beams of hardlight on disgusting casuals who don’t spend real money to buy REQ packs. People say to me that a person being a Phaeton is impossible and I’m mentally ill but I don’t care, I’m beautiful.
I’m having a plastic surgeon install dual VTOL propulsions, directed energy cannons and slipspace-drives on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Captain Hestro” and respect my right to utterly destroy you from above in Warzone and float out of your line of sight so that the enemy team can get 150 points from destroying me with a Whiplash. If you can’t accept me you’re a Phaetophobe and need to check your vehicle privilege.
Thank you for being so understanding.