NEWS: Singing Grunt To Drop Mixtape In 2559


A new pop icon of the intergalactic music world, the self-proclaimed “Singing Grunt” has rocketed up the charts. After being discovered by Spartan/Music Producer Jameson Locke during the struggle for Sanghelios, the Grunt’s music has touched the hearts of species across the galaxy, and his first ever mixtape is predicted to drop in 2559.
​After his first single “The Planet Song”, The Singing Grunt began recording sessions aboard the UNSC Infinity with assistance from Jameson Locke.
​“I saw a lot of potential in him” said Locke. “His words, his voice, his stature, everything about him screamed to me that he’d be a success. His song helped me through an important time in my life, while trying to rescue the “not really a traitor” Chief from Cortana. Oh shit, Cortana…I totally forgot, I gotta go—”
​“I for one am just glad my music could help other feel real good,” said the Singing Grunt himself, Fapyap. “I always knew there was more for me then just throwing plasma grenades and charging plasma pistols, ya know? I’ve not always had it easy in the past. I barely escaped being glassed by my own peeps on Reach, then barely escaped the green guy blowing up the ring thingy, and I even worked for the mean Forerunner guy too!”
​Fapyap then stuck one of our camera men with a grenade, killing him. He apologized, claiming “old habits, entirely my fault” etc.

The Singing Grunt’s mixtape is expected to drop hotter than an ODST orbital insertion, with songs such as:

  • The Planet Song
  • Hit The Road, Jackal
  • Every Girl Crazy Bout A Well Armored Man
  • Me And My Needler
  • A Poem For Palmer (Ft. backup singer Exuberant Witness)
  • And more!

Fapyap’s mixtape will undoubtedly receive incredible reception, provided Cortana doesn’t kill everybody before that has a chance to happen.

RIP camera man guy.


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