Brutes Angered After Being Excluded From Two Halo Games In A Row


The Jiralhanae, or Brutes, a race of savage, bipedal, carnivorous aliens, have released a petition to be let into the next Halo game. The Brutes are outraged over having gone from major appearances in Halo 3 to just having one mention in Halo 5.

This petition came to HaloSwallower’s attention after a UNSC inter species ambassador emailed us a link to the Brutes website with the subject “Get a load of this shit” The website contained a page urging viewers to sign a petition to allow the Brutes to rejoin the cast of aliens in Halo, with the description stating. “Bruts be gud now, u let us go ples?” The petition at the time had a one signature from a member with the username “Totally not a Brute”

Ever since the Arbiter defeated the Brute’s leader Tartar Sauce in Halo 2, the Brutes have been kept under strict quarantine on their home world, with Elite ships orbiting the planet while glassing the word “LOL” into the planet.

The Brutes plea to be released back into the galaxy has met with negative reactions from both the UNSC and Elites.

“One of those apes nearly ate me back during the war” said Marine P. Niss. “During New Mombasa, a Brute had me pinned against wall and was about to dig in until that ODST who never said anything saved me. Man, that guy was weird.”

“The Brutes live without honor!” said Sword of Sanghelios Thesa Radume, “They have fought with our kind for generations, and allowing them free reign would just as bad as unleashing a swarm of Flood”

After being reminded that the Elites did just that in the past, Radume sulked away, threating to close our jaws or he would bind them shut.
The Brute’s petition was ultimately denied after a single Brute was brought on board the UNSC Infinity for peace talks, and attempted to devour crew members after seeing a Spartan had kept a ceremonial Gravity Hammer as a keepsake.


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