The Unggoy are the lowliest species existing within the Covenant. Although vicious in groups, they are cowards on their own, and tend to be treated as second class citizens on a good day. After the fall of the Covenant in 2552, their stature did not improve much, though some did find salvation with the Swords of Sanghelios.
Blah blah blah blah blah enough about Unggoy history. On this humble Friday, HaloSwallower is here to discuss a very peculiar case of Grunty goodness.
If you can remember from Halo 3, the final level spent its latter half in a Warthog run. Those who didn’t feel like reaching the Dawn as Installation 04-B crumbled apart might have stumbled upon a lone Grunt on the side of the deteriorating platform road. And if the bloody Arbiter hadn’t shot the Grunt with the Warthog turret, you might have heard the Grunt say this:
Hey, Demon! The Jerk store called, and they’re all out of you! Poor you… stolen at the age of six and constricted into the military, wah! Okay look, if you let me live, I’ve got the Fist of Rukt. Look, I’ll be the bottom. I’ll polish your boots! I’ll polish your helmet! It’s the gas, haha! When I’m on the gas, I don’t know what I’m doing half the time!
Now, assuming that the Arbiter doesn’t helpfully shoot him for you before he can even finish his touching speech, we can infer that the Final Grunt perished when Installation 04-B fired and tore itself sort.
But what if he survived?
The main menu of Halo 5: Guardians has its own Grunt of interest. If you sit idly in the menu, tune into Kazuma Jinnouchi’s spectacular scores for the soundtrack, you may eventually see a single Grunt roll by through space. This Grunt has caused an eruption of speculation from fans. In fact, in a recent Canon Fodder, 343 writer Jeff Easterling gave some insightful hints. When asked how the Grunt fits into canon, Easterling responded with this eternal wisdom:
Very carefully, and with a lot of grease.
Let’s return to the Final Grunt. Again, provided that he wasn’t killed by the Arbiter, the Grunt probably perished when Installation 04-B exploded. However, there remains a possibility that the Grunt could have been ejected from the catastrophe, launched through the portal, and jettisoned to some random location in space. Where the Forward Unto Dawn ended up within the vicinity of Requiem, the Final Grunt ended up in orbit of the planet appearing in the main menu of Halo 5: Guardians. Dead or alive, he has been doomed to an eternity of rolling through the vacuum with only fans, eager to jump into matchmaking/campaign, to notice him.
Next time you kill a Grunt, know your inhumanity.