THEORY: Is The “Creeper” On Coliseum Watching You Teabag?


Halo‘s multiplayer has always contained a variety of Easter eggs. Faces are subtly drawn into the skybox, creepy-ass dolls are hidden within secret corners of the maps, and it’s not uncommon to stumble upon a caveman when prowling Halo 3. Anyway, in Halo 5: Guardians, one particular map contains a genuinely disturbing Easter egg.

Despite its beautiful terrain, Halo 5‘s “Coliseum” is often criticized for awkward sight-lines. The lowermost levels of the map are seldom used; most engagements consist of death-charging the platform where the Rocket Launcher spawns. DMR battles between bases can be excruciatingly fun, but the only way to win is to strafe and Gandhi-hop like you’re Tigger.

But Coliseum has another secret. A much, much darker attribute. Beneath one of the weird circle ramp things that you might have first thought to be a gravity lift, there lurks a strange, unsettling Easter egg assuming the form of some creepy dude watching you when the weird circle ramp thing opens up. If you’re unaware of what the hell we’re talking about, take a gander at this quick video from our friends at Halo Universe (Facebook):


We are left to wonder: what is the purpose of this Creeper? It is assured that players are not at risk of having a freaky, four-legged green thing walking up to them and exploded (this creeper is safely secured beneath the platform, and the Minecraft Creeper is safely stored inside the Minecraft universe), but still…what is it?

HaloSwallower has began to suspect that the “Creeper” is actually a Forerunner ancilla tasked with observing occupants of the facility in which Coliseum is set. To be exact, the ancilla exists to watch players teabag.

The Forerunner Saga, and the terminals throughout many Halo games, have implied that teabagging is a criminal act within Forerunner society. For example, Warrior-Servants guilty of rubbing their armored ballsacks on the dead of their enemies are shamed, dishonored, and exiled into Cryptums after the battle. Manipulars destined for the Builder rate caught teabagging are often forced to live among Miners until the time of maturation, and Lifeworkers accused of teabagging are marooned into dangerous habitats without any form of protection. Regardless of rate, teabagging is a perfect example of a “Crime Against the Mantle.”

However, to get punished, one must get caught. And the creeper we see on Coliseum is just one of many Teabag Sentinels inhabiting one of many Forerunner facilities. That being said, next time you bag on Coliseum, know who’s watching.