THEORY: Is Spartan Vale Third-Wheeling It?


Fireteam Osiris is the more prominent fireteam featuring a playable role in Halo 5: Gardeners. Led by a former ONI agent, Osiris is composed of Jameson Locke, Holly Tanaka, Edward Buck, and Olympia Vale. It is one of those four Spartans that is that matter of concern today: Spartan Vale.

That’s right. HaloSwallower has began to suspect that Olympia Vale may be the designated “third wheel” of the fireteam.

For those unfamiliar with the term, a “third wheel” is not being the third wheel attached to a vehicle (or any other wheel-bearing objects); it is being the only member of a group without a significant other. When third-wheeling is present, it’s usually when someone is tagging along a couple. This person usually ends up being miserable throughout the night; this can be from jealousy of the couple they accompany, or frustration over constantly having to stop and wait for them to finish engaging in public displays of affection. Either way, being the “third wheel” is a terrible fate: one that causes nothing but despair and hopelessness.

Back to the topic at hand. Why might Olympa Vale be the “third wheel” of Fireteam Osiris?

Let’s start with what is known. Osiris’s eldest member, Edward Buck, is married to Veronica Dare. Buck bears a tribute to her engraved into his armor, and occasionally reflects upon her during missions (we can infer that if Dare were to be part of Osiris, the player would constantly have to order her and Buck to stop fucking kissing in the fucking elevator, god fucking dammit!). For a fireteam composed of an even number of members, one is already off of the table–thus forcing someone to be a third wheel.

Now, let’s look at our squad leader, Jameson Locke. As far as we know, Locke does not have any romantic interests within the field. Some have speculated that Talitha Macer (from Halo: Downfall of Halo Live Action) could still play a role in his life, but alas, nothing is solidly noted. However, in the Halo 5: Launch TV Commercial, we see signs that Locke may have some sort of relationship with Holly Tanaka.

This tender moment between Locke and Tanaka suggests an offscreen relationship between them.

This tender moment between Locke and Tanaka suggests an offscreen relationship between the two.

Could Locke and Tanaka truly have something going on behind the screen? We don’t know. However, we wouldn’t blame Tanaka for falling for Locke’s shiny bald head…Nor can we imagine Locke being able to resist Tanaka, with all that sass behind that ass.

Alas, if Locke and Tanaka are indeed a thing, then there is not a doubt on Genesis that Vale is the official third-wheel of Fireteam Osiris.


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