THEORY: Is Donald Trump’s Hair A Precursor?

In the wake of the first GOP debates for the 2016 Presidential Election (which Del Rio was unable to attend), one unsettling question has stood above the others. This question has bubbled to the surface of bigoted morons many times before, and it’s now that it has wormed its way to the Halo universe. That question is what the actual fuck is up with Donald Trump’s hair?

Where some say it’s because of his brain cell shortage, the real answer may be something else entirely (because he doesn’t have a shortage in brain cells, he just doesn’t have any brain cells). The real answer could be because Donald Trump’s hair is a Precursor.

This property comes from multiple angles. For one, the fact that Trump’s hair just never doesn’t look like complete shit is eerily similar to how no matter how much damage or time it sustains, Precursor technology remains exactly the same. Likewise, looking at Trump’s hair causes the same emotional trauma that encountering the Flood does upon those foolish enough to do so. In fact, Trump’s hair could be even more inducing of an eternity of suffering for all that are created than the Flood are in the first place.

Now, how would this make sense?

In Halo: Salt and Pepper, the Gravemind (manifesting as Forthencho) to the Librarian that the Precursors had the capability to change forms. Apparently, the Flood was just one of many evolutions the Precursors underwent. Although we’ll never be sure as to why the Precursors would want to lower themselves to something as painstakingly stupendous looking as Donald Trump’s hair, that hair could easily be an evolution of the Precursors–

An evolution of the Precursors meant to inflict horror upon all unlucky enough to stumble across it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s