THEORY: Was The New Phoenix Incident An Inside Job?

Residents of New Phoenix, United Republic of North America woke up to a beautiful orange flash, and then the engrossing feeling of ecstasy that is having one’s flesh stripped from their skeletons (layer by layer) before being rendered to ash. This was when instead of letting the city wake up to a glorious Arizona sunrise, the Ur-Didact decided to digitize the city instead with a Composer. Although the Didact and his composer would both be MLGxDankxRekt by the Master Chief, seven million people would be composed–building an army of seven million bullet-spongey, teleport-y, and campy mechanical warriors. When the ash settled (oooh, too soon?), and when the public found out, we’re finally left with a lingering question…

Was it an inside job?

Normally, the thought of an attack involving seven million human consciousness being yanked out of their bodies (like a frustrated mother trying to get their teenage daughter out of bed before school) actually being an ‘inside job’ would appall the average person. The New Phoenix Incident was a terrible, terrible thing, and questioning its origins is as absurd as it is insensitive. However, there’s something about the city of New Phoenix that suggests that the Didact being able to compose it was a result of someone intentionally tampering with it.

And that is because it had residents.

Yes, the Composer can’t melt human-lacking steel beams. Without any humans, the Didact’s attack would have had no effect on the galactic media networks, which would defeat the entire purpose. Thus, someone had to have got on the inside, and added humans to the city so that the Didact could later compose them.

#BushDidNewPhoenix

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