NEWS: Del Rio Officially Announces 2016 Presidential Campaign

Last week, we reported that Del Rio was considering to run for president. However, what was merely a consideration has now became a reality. Andrew Del Rio, former captain of the UNSC Infinity and member of the UEG senate, has officially announced his campaign to win the White House for the 2016 presidential election. Del Rio has also announced his running mate: Michael Horrigan, the top douchebag from Halo: Nightfall.

HaloSwallower has been granted the honor of a one-to-one interview with the 2016 presidential candidate.

HaloSwallower: “We see you’ve decided to run. What will be the primary foundation of your campaign?”

Andrew Del Rio: “The primary foundation? As former captain of humanity’s most powerful vessel, my foundation will be to secure an American DOMINANCE over the rest of the world. THAT, is what I offer to voters. THAT, is what I offer to America.”

HaloSwallower: “Inspiring {heavy sarcasm}. Alright, so let’s talk about your running mate. Why Horrigan?”

Andrew Del Rio: “With all due respect, reporter, I’m not willing to jeopardize my campaign over your verbose questions.”

HaloSwallower: “Our apologies, sir. Permission to ask any non-verbose questions?”

Andrew Del Rio: “Permission granted. The future Del Rio Administration is always happy to comment on future plans that may appeal to voters.”

HaloSwallower: “Good to hear, we’re always happy to ask them. Anyway, as for a better question…how many Del Rios does it take to screw over New Phoenix?”

Andrew Del Rio: “…………”

Del Rio immediately left HaloSwallower’s studio (after standing in the interviewing chamber with a gaping look of utter horror and intense fury for a full ten minutes while the intro to 117 played on loop). Whether this boosts or beats his campaign, as of now, remains to be seen. However, out of all things, one thing is certain:

If salt is his virtue, let there be salt


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