NEWS: Fans Divided Over Regret’s Beetles

This just in with shocking news about the Halo community. Yesterday, violence erupted on the Halo Wayoint forums when a thread was created demanding the complete removal of the ambient beetles appearing on the Halo 5: Guardians multiplayer map, Regret. Immediately after the thread’s creation, a legion of 343 loyalists clashed with an armada of nostalgic Bungie fanboys. The following battle left the forums in ruins, with only crows feasting on the corpses of mods and users alike.

In three hours, the original post received over forty three hundred likes, and the thread grew to three thousand pages. Furthermore, the population of the forum tripled when hundreds of thousands registered to participate in the fiery discussion. Approximately every four hundred and twenty miliseconds, seven forum accounts were banned by the moderators. Most moderators were even banned themselves, as was GrimBrother One due to “systematically erasing Catalog.”

However, even after the battle, there were survivors. AutobotViper, a member bearing the Spartan – Onyx rank and using a Colonel Ackerson avatar, was able to live from the carnage and express to HaloSwallower his thoughts on the matter:

These beetles represent utter damnation for Halo. I think that those demanding their preservation are obviously Halsey sympathizers and should all have their arms lopped off. Unacceptable.

F Is For Foxtrot, the community manager at 343 Industries, underwent an incredibly desperate struggle to calm the belligerent community. In his seemingly hopeless quest, Foxtrot lost his space bar, and his mouse’s cord severed from corrosion. In the end, his only option was to purge the forum and initiate a full forumic restart. A following endeavor, called the Conservation measure, involved the reseeding of threads into the now sterile Halo Waypoint forums. The user who created the thread was buried beneath the super secret moderator control panel, sentence to “an eternity of atonement,” and only to be reawakened “if the beetles return.”

‘Twas beetles killed the beast


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