It’s no lie that Halo‘s expansion into the toys/merchandise market has been expansive. McFarlane has released painstakingly shitty action figures since 2008 (and literally forgot they existed throughout Halo 4‘s boat ride), Square Enix has made some beautiful items, and plenty of companies have put their interest in Halo to work. However, it can now be said that this expansion is not without conflict—and that is because Lego has declared war on Megabloks over owning rights to Halo merchandise. Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, the current CEO of Lego (and HaloSwallower has no idea how to pronounce his gorgeous name), made an official declaration on the matter:
Jørgen Vig Knudstorp
“For the last countless years, we’ve watched those denizens at Megabloks usurp our rightful dominion over plastic bricks that stick together. And now, we’ve been seeing them defile the Halo franchise. The mantle of using Halo products to slice the tender feet of those unfortunate enough to step on a stray Lego belongs to us…alone.
In response to Knudstorp (or Vid Knudstorp—HaloSwallower again has no freaking idea), the CEO of Megabloks, Marc Bertrand, offered words of aggression:
“Your actions tread between honor and foolishness. Megabloks has taken your words as an act of war, and we have vowed to obliterate your strongholds with endless volleys of megablok bricks; the flesh of your employees will be stripped to the bone under the shrapnel of a million sharp plastic edges.
Knudstorp/Vid Knudstorp did not reply to Bertrand, but witnesses have seen legions of Lego tanks emerging from Lego factories across the globe. HaloSwallower will remain updated on this recent and terrifying turn of events.