NEWS: Quadwing Humiliated Over Not Being Shot


During an online match of Halo 3, on Epitaph, a member of the local Quadwing population felt dire embarrassment and shame when the entire match progressed without a single shot being fired at it. After the match, the Quadwing (named Farquaadwing) received further shame and humiliation when the blasted organs of his Quadwing brothers and sisters called him names, all the way from the sandy dunes that rested thousands of feet below Epitapth’s tower. Although he mostly has kept to himself following the incident, Farquaadwing gave HaloSwallower some meaningful advice for any Quadwing members of our audience:


“Always fly into the direction of gunfire. It’ll save you all the effort. Spread those wings, and soar. Soar, soar, soar. Until there’s nothing more but your guts painting the floor.”

HaloSwallower has urged Farquaadwing to seek psychological help, but he has since resorted to slaughtering rats that can be encountered throughout Halo 3‘s campaign.


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